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September 15, 2004
Take time in your day or your week to make a U Turn.
What is a U Turn? A U Turn is a moment that you take to remove the focus from
yourself and focus completely on what you can do to bless your husband or wife.
I find that this is especially important when going through conflict (both during
and especially after).
Take some time and make a list, mentally or written, of all the things you think he or
she needs, may be going through, the perspectives from which he or she could have
seen a given situation, ways in which he or she could have taken what you said and
been either hurt, disappointed, disrespected or confused. Then commit yourself to
ministering to your spouse in this area and let them know you hear their needs and
concerns!!!
There is a principle that I learned from a concept at work: We have a daily meeting
(most days) where each team member is allowed to give a report of where they are
and what the need to accomplish. At this meeting a rule is enforced where no one is
allowed to interrupt and no comments are made during the meeting itself. Following
the meeting, each person (or "responsible" party) is entrusted to go the the person
whose issue needs resolution.
Think of ways you may be able to implement this type of of approach or a similar
one, regularly, in your marriage. Say to your mate, "I want to focus on U not me
right now." Make a U Turn. I am going to write down or meditate on all the ways
I can bless U according to what U need and the way God made U. And I am going
to trust God, as you do the same. I am going to listen to your needs and be the
"responsible" party, and follow through in serving you and meeting your needs.
Galatians 5: 13, 14
"For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion
to the flesh, but by love [agape] serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled
in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love [agapao] thy neighbour as thyself."
Philippians 4:8, Galatians 5:14, John 13:34,35, Galatians 6:1,2, Ephesians 4:31, 32,
Ephesians 4:1,2, Colossians 1:1-4, 9-11; I Corinthians 14: 1-5; I Corinthians 16:20
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